(697) (in)fertility

I have all these ideas on how I want to raise my child, how I want the birthing process to go, etc. I'm becoming very frustrated that it is not happening for us. Part of me has a feeling that we're supposed to wait until we are done with Italy (2.5 more years). But another part of me is worried that I'll be too old. I'll be 28.5 years old when we leave Italy and to me that's pushing it a little.

I hate the term infertility. It sounds so final. I'll never say I'm infertile, at least not until I'm in my 40s... I just say I have fertility issues. Well, we do... the problem seems to be on both sides.

They still haven't found any specific issue with me, although I do have inconsistent periods. They have been happening pretty regularly lately though. I also took an ovulation test today and it was positive. They are going to do an HSG test whenever they fix their machine. The doctor also wants me to do clomid, but I am unsure if I want to do that yet. Plus, my next cycle will probably be when Mike is at a school 2 hrs away (6 weeks long), so I have a little time to think about that. I'm going to also wait until the HSG test is done first. I also found out that Mike's morphology is 90% abnormal, which is up 20% from his last test. I asked the doctor if there was anything he could do to fix that, but she didn't really tell me there were any options.

I've also been reading a book about the connection between body fat and fertility. I'm trying to up my calories and be at a normal weight, but so far I've just been losing more. It's hard to balance ed-nos with wanting a baby. I know I need to have a good amount of body fat, but at the same time that scares me.

I guess when we started getting checked out, we would get a definite answer as to the causes of this... that's another thing that's frustrating.