I am not cut out to be an army wife. I can't do this. Not again... I'm so frustrated with the damn army. As soon as he is done with his contract, we are done. I can't take the anxiety. I never expected them to pull this kind of crap. He's only been home 7 months and now they are planning to go to NYC for who knows how long. He's been at work all day (since 7) and things keep changing and it's driving me crazy. They haven't done a damn thing to keep any spouses informed and it's pissing me off. I'm feeling so physical sick from all the anxiety and when I'm anxious I can't eat because my stomach hurts like hell. Oh and saying "at least he's not XXXXXX" doesn't fickin help me at all. He was JUST there. For a year. I wasn't anticipating him going on a mission for at least a year. I expected training exercises and crap like that, but not this. I was not prepared for something like this even happening. I just want my husband home for at least a year like I was told. I'm not ready in anyway to be separated from him for any length of time. Shit, even when he has CQ, I can't sleep at night. I can deal with that, but I can't deal with him going into an unknown situation. Not yet. I'm not ready to let him go. Once it hits a year since it's been home, then I can expect him to leave at any point... but not before that. Being an army wife is not good when you have anxiety problems and eating problems.
I think tomorrow will be better, even if he has to go because at least I'll have work and wont be sitting around all day. Doesn't help that he took the car this morning so I haven't been able to go anywhere and I don't have enough energy to walk the 3 miles to his work and get it.
2011-08-03
(657) More PCS progress
Last Thursday we had the levy briefing. It was basically a person going through a folder of papers with us (mostly him). There's only a couple things we can do before we get orders and that wont happen until he gets his clearance and probably something else, but I'm not sure. I have to get my EFMP screening to make sure I don't have any issues that would prevent me from going (which I don't think that I do...). I thought that I had a Pap done last year because I saw my gyn, but I called and turns out it was for something else (nothing serious), so I had to schedule an appointment... fun... NOT. I can't schedule the screening process until this is done.
The only other thing I can do right now is get no fee passport, which basically allows me to live there. Well, I don't think that they actually give it to you until you have orders, but I can get it started so they can process it. I'm still waiting to get my regular passport and birth certificate back in the mail before I can go do that.
I'm not sure what I need to do with my cats....
Oh and we found out that we will be there for 36 months. I think it will be interesting to be in another country. I've only ever been to Canada and I don't really count that. I'm trying to not get too excited because it could all fall through (it could do that up until he signs in to his new unit).
On an unrelated note, Michael and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary last Tuesday. It was nice to be able to spend it together, instead of many miles apart...
The only other thing I can do right now is get no fee passport, which basically allows me to live there. Well, I don't think that they actually give it to you until you have orders, but I can get it started so they can process it. I'm still waiting to get my regular passport and birth certificate back in the mail before I can go do that.
I'm not sure what I need to do with my cats....
Oh and we found out that we will be there for 36 months. I think it will be interesting to be in another country. I've only ever been to Canada and I don't really count that. I'm trying to not get too excited because it could all fall through (it could do that up until he signs in to his new unit).
On an unrelated note, Michael and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary last Tuesday. It was nice to be able to spend it together, instead of many miles apart...
2011-07-18
(656) Italy
A couple weeks ago, my hubby got a slot for Italy. As of now, we are going to PCSing there next year. I'm soooo excited, but not too excited, because of course that could change. I've never been to another country (besides Canada, which doesn't really count when you're from NY). There are so many things we're going to have to do but can't start until we get his orders.
Last week he told me to get my passport so I did. I got the pictures done at Walmart and looking back, I realize I could've just done them myself instead of paying the $8 for them to take a digital picture and print it on photo paper. Lesson learned I guess. Then I went to the post office to drop off the application and their debit/credit card machines were down, so I had to drive to the bank and get out $140 and then wait in line again. I also hate the fact that they need my original birth certificate, so now I'm without one. Hopefully I don't need it for any other paper work any time soon.
I have also been learning Italian using Rosetta Stone. I've been using the skillport classes to take it. I might take a class through the local community college as well.
Last week he told me to get my passport so I did. I got the pictures done at Walmart and looking back, I realize I could've just done them myself instead of paying the $8 for them to take a digital picture and print it on photo paper. Lesson learned I guess. Then I went to the post office to drop off the application and their debit/credit card machines were down, so I had to drive to the bank and get out $140 and then wait in line again. I also hate the fact that they need my original birth certificate, so now I'm without one. Hopefully I don't need it for any other paper work any time soon.
I have also been learning Italian using Rosetta Stone. I've been using the skillport classes to take it. I might take a class through the local community college as well.
2011-06-24
(655) Pissed off
I am so sick of the army messing with my life. After a year of deployment, I just want it to stop. Last week, I had planned to visit my family 4 hours away because my sister and nephew were moving out of state. Thursday (the day before we were supposed to leave), he gets a text message from his boss saying he has CQ (24hr duty) on Saturday. I got so pissed off. My husband is home, he's supposed to be able to do things with me instead of the army taking more of his time. He was able to trade his CQ for another person's who had it on Tuesday. We even paid this person $50 to trade since Mike's CQ was scheduled for the weekend.
Then today he sends me a text message at work saying that he has it tomorrow. WTF. I hate things brought on me at the last minute. I'm sick of his unit's incompetence when it comes to simple things.
I can't take this anymore. I was not made to be in this life. I'm just not happy here. Ever since I moved here, I feel like I've lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore. Every day seems like the last and I'm getting frustrated.
Then today he sends me a text message at work saying that he has it tomorrow. WTF. I hate things brought on me at the last minute. I'm sick of his unit's incompetence when it comes to simple things.
I can't take this anymore. I was not made to be in this life. I'm just not happy here. Ever since I moved here, I feel like I've lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore. Every day seems like the last and I'm getting frustrated.
2011-05-17
(654) We are debt free!!!
We have paid off all of our student loans, car loan, and credit cards. Such a great feeling not to be buried under that much debt.
We started by paying off all of the higher interest debt first - credit cards, car loan, then each of the student loans. Every paycheck of his (2x month) we put $1000 into our extra loan payments account and $200 into our regular savings account. We also track everything in Quicken... we enter our receipts and itemize them so we can see exactly what we are spending, we have our bills listed so we can see when things are due.
Our next step is to save up for furniture and other things that we want/need. We're going to try not to buy things on credit. We do use our credit cards for day to day purchases, but we pay them off as soon as they appear on our account.
We are also going to start putting money in our retirement accounts.
This is such a great feeling.
We started by paying off all of the higher interest debt first - credit cards, car loan, then each of the student loans. Every paycheck of his (2x month) we put $1000 into our extra loan payments account and $200 into our regular savings account. We also track everything in Quicken... we enter our receipts and itemize them so we can see exactly what we are spending, we have our bills listed so we can see when things are due.
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| Graph of our Net worth (March 2008 - May 2011) Green = assets; purple = liabilities; red line graph = net worth |
Our next step is to save up for furniture and other things that we want/need. We're going to try not to buy things on credit. We do use our credit cards for day to day purchases, but we pay them off as soon as they appear on our account.
We are also going to start putting money in our retirement accounts.
This is such a great feeling.
2011-04-27
(652) Easter Weekend
Friday started off a little bad. I woke up to use the bathroom and when I came back Toad was peeing on my comforter. It was 630am so we washed the comforter and bed sheets.
Mike came with me to work and hung out in town so we could just leave for there. When I got in the car, the low pressure indicator came on, so we had to figure out where to get some air. Anyway, we got that no problem and hit the road. First stop, Olive Garden near Rochester. Food was yummy as usual. :)
We then headed to my friend Heather's house, which is about 5 mins away from Olive Garden (lucky her!). We spent time with her and her son, Ben. He is such a cutie. He's about 6 months old now. He wouldn't let Mike hold him, but he kept staring at him.
After that, we headed to the Buffalo area and spent time with my sister before heading to my dad's.
Saturday morning, we went to Dennys and had breakfast with Sarah, Heather, and Bridget, friends I have had since elementary/middle school. I was pretty sick so I could barely speak and my nose kept running, so it wasn't as fun as it could've been, but it was nice to see them again.
After that we stopped at Hall's Apple Farm. They are a local place and they have the BEST chocolate. I bought some for my nieces and nephews and myself of course. Mike got candy corn (wtf).
We went back to my sister, Chrissy's house and hung out until the girls and boys separated for lunch. Chrissy and I went to TGIFridays with my favorite Aunt Dawn and the boys (husband Mike, nephew Mike, and Al-Chrissy's husband) went to a buffet.
I took the Mike's to my other sister's house about 45mins away. We had pizza and played outside with my niece and nephew. We also gave her my old computer because she doesn't have one.
Later that night I took the kids to my dad's so they could see my brother. He got all pissy because they were only there for a few minutes before Chrissy picked them up.
The next morning we went to church and Mike went with me! It was nice because my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and two nephews, and husband were all there. We said our goodbyes and went to my dad's house.
At my dad's we were waiting for dinner and my brother gets on our butts about not having a "real" wedding and how we should plan a "real" wedding and reception. I was like, I'm not spending our money and time on a "real" wedding and reception just for everyone else. I liked the way we had our wedding, it was just my dad and Heather and her husband. It was low stress and drama free. Anyway, he would just not let it go and it started to piss me off.
Soon we ate "dinner", which was more like lunch, but it was good. Ham and scalloped potatoes and a bunch of veggies. After that we hit the road back to the Rochester area and had some pizza with my friend from college, Jesse. Finally we headed back home.
All in all, it was a good trip, minus me being sick for all of it. We limited the amount of time we spent with my brother. He can be a lot to handle. Lots of driving too. It was really nice to see my family and friends who I don't get to see that often, but luckily we are in driving distance of them, so it isn't too bad.
How was your easter weekend?
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| Toad |
Mike came with me to work and hung out in town so we could just leave for there. When I got in the car, the low pressure indicator came on, so we had to figure out where to get some air. Anyway, we got that no problem and hit the road. First stop, Olive Garden near Rochester. Food was yummy as usual. :)
We then headed to my friend Heather's house, which is about 5 mins away from Olive Garden (lucky her!). We spent time with her and her son, Ben. He is such a cutie. He's about 6 months old now. He wouldn't let Mike hold him, but he kept staring at him.
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| Baby Ben |
After that, we headed to the Buffalo area and spent time with my sister before heading to my dad's.
Saturday morning, we went to Dennys and had breakfast with Sarah, Heather, and Bridget, friends I have had since elementary/middle school. I was pretty sick so I could barely speak and my nose kept running, so it wasn't as fun as it could've been, but it was nice to see them again.
After that we stopped at Hall's Apple Farm. They are a local place and they have the BEST chocolate. I bought some for my nieces and nephews and myself of course. Mike got candy corn (wtf).
We went back to my sister, Chrissy's house and hung out until the girls and boys separated for lunch. Chrissy and I went to TGIFridays with my favorite Aunt Dawn and the boys (husband Mike, nephew Mike, and Al-Chrissy's husband) went to a buffet.
I took the Mike's to my other sister's house about 45mins away. We had pizza and played outside with my niece and nephew. We also gave her my old computer because she doesn't have one.
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| Nephew Willy and Michael |
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| Nephew Michael and husband Mike |
Later that night I took the kids to my dad's so they could see my brother. He got all pissy because they were only there for a few minutes before Chrissy picked them up.
The next morning we went to church and Mike went with me! It was nice because my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and two nephews, and husband were all there. We said our goodbyes and went to my dad's house.
At my dad's we were waiting for dinner and my brother gets on our butts about not having a "real" wedding and how we should plan a "real" wedding and reception. I was like, I'm not spending our money and time on a "real" wedding and reception just for everyone else. I liked the way we had our wedding, it was just my dad and Heather and her husband. It was low stress and drama free. Anyway, he would just not let it go and it started to piss me off.
Soon we ate "dinner", which was more like lunch, but it was good. Ham and scalloped potatoes and a bunch of veggies. After that we hit the road back to the Rochester area and had some pizza with my friend from college, Jesse. Finally we headed back home.
All in all, it was a good trip, minus me being sick for all of it. We limited the amount of time we spent with my brother. He can be a lot to handle. Lots of driving too. It was really nice to see my family and friends who I don't get to see that often, but luckily we are in driving distance of them, so it isn't too bad.
How was your easter weekend?
2011-04-19
(651) Heartbreaking
This has been floating around the military spouse blogs that I read.
http://misadventuresofanarmywife.blogspot.com/
I don't know her and I didn't read her blog, but a few people's blogs I do read had linked to it. It breaks my heart. I know what it's like to feel that low that you consider/attempt suicide. I've been there, many years ago. I don't know both sides, but it seems that this kind of thing is too common in the Army/military... the wife giving it all to her husband only for him to cheat on her and leave her. I've read it before and it is completely heart breaking. It just makes me sick, the things these husbands do. I hope that she gets the help she needs to rebuild her life and feel better again.
http://misadventuresofanarmywife.blogspot.com/
I don't know her and I didn't read her blog, but a few people's blogs I do read had linked to it. It breaks my heart. I know what it's like to feel that low that you consider/attempt suicide. I've been there, many years ago. I don't know both sides, but it seems that this kind of thing is too common in the Army/military... the wife giving it all to her husband only for him to cheat on her and leave her. I've read it before and it is completely heart breaking. It just makes me sick, the things these husbands do. I hope that she gets the help she needs to rebuild her life and feel better again.
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