(648) Is it that time already?

Homecoming is in a couple days. I'm feeling so many different things.

• Disbelief - I can't believe the deployment is over. We got lucky and it ended up only be 11 months minus 2 weeks of R&R. Maybe that's why I can't believe it. 
• Grateful - Our first/second year of marriage survived a deployment. We were only living together 4 months before he deployed, so most of our marriage has been spent apart. I'm grateful he's on the first flights out. I'm grateful to have my husband back in a few days and to just be together. 
• Happy - doesn't really need an explanation
• Scared - since most of our marriage has been spent deployed, I wonder if we'll get along being together. I'm scared we each have changed. I'm scared things wont be good. 
• Nervous - seeing him for the first time in months, being intimate again. 

I just have these moments lately where I'm overwhelmed with emotions. I've been trying to trick my mind into thinking this is a normal week, because it pretty much is until the very end. That's actually helped a lot. I've played a lot of mind tricks with myself. My favorite being vividly imagine the next day's activities, then by the time I realize it, it's the next day. 

I can't believe it. 

My husband's coming home soon!!!!

I find myself cleaning the same things over and over. This past weekend I pretty much cleaned every little thing I could think of. Of course I still live here, so things get messy again. I don't know why. He's not going to give a crap about how clean/messy/dirty the house is/isn't. He wont care if there's a sign/banner. He wont care if there's yummy food in the house. He just wants to see me. I told him that I want things to be perfect for him and to fulfill his expectations, but he's made it clear, that all he cares about is seeing me. Doesn't change the fact that I want to make sure things are perfect in my mind and that he has yummy food to eat and pretty much anything he wants when he comes back (within our budget of course). Now I need to remember what foods he likes other than the stuff I sent in care packages. 

I kind of feel like this is a dream and I'm going to wake up soon and discover the deployment just begun. If this is a dream, it's a very boring one. 

Please please God let him come home safely and without delay. Please.