Today Mike and I "fought" over who had it hardest with this deployment. I told him I thought he had it the hardest because I still have all the comforts of home and the only thing that's different for me is him being gone. He said I had it hardest because this is my first time dealing with this, I'm new at the army wife crap, relatively new to the area and getting my life settled.
Anyway the point is that this was a great conversation. We were both able to see how the situation has affected the other person and it was great hearing that he understood what I've been going through. To him, deployments aren't a big deal, he said that if he weren't with me, he would volunteer to stay longer. With me in the picture, he just wants to be home. That's really his only issue with being deployed. He's done it before and it doesn't really bother him (minus being apart).
We each have our own challenges with the deployment and I think it's important that we (Mike and I) both recognize the challenges each other faces.
There's no doubt that I am still figuring this out. I suck at it sometimes. Other times I handle it just fine. Sometimes I'm understanding when he can't talk for a long time (because it's late/he had a long day/etc). Other times I tend to start fights just so we talk longer. There are times when I look back and think that I should have handled the situation better, but I try not to be too hard on myself. I'm still learning how to do this. I can't expect myself to be good at this right away.
My biggest "problem" right now is that I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. Every week seems (and is pretty much) the same. I like routines but it's just getting me that I do the exactly same thing every week.
What are some things I can do to break up this routine a bit?
Sounds like your on the right track... I don't think anyone has it all figured out...lol. No matter if its 2 months in or 20 years in, there's always a monkey wrench or 6 thrown at you and something new to learn ;)
ReplyDeleteAs for the routines, have you been to the library? Are you close to the post? Sometimes they offer classes like jewelry making or painting... or maybe try the gym? for some yoga or zumba?
I live on post, but the problem I have is that most of the things that go on are during my work hours. I go to zumba every week (that's part of the routine), but I will keep a look out for some classes to take.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that the two of you can talk and keep each other abreast of how you're feeling. And I totally get the fight thing--I'm guilty of pulling that card myself every now and then!
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