(682) Baby steps

Going off on my own

Today I got dressed, put on some makeup, drove to the ATM to get some euros and drove outside of the base by myself to the pizza place. It wasn't open, but at least I drove by myself there!

Lately I've felt nervous about going off base by myself, but with Mike being TDY I have to force myself or else I'll be stuck here.

Initiation

There was a post on MFP about the other spouse not initiating... I basically copied part of my post from my blog.

I feel so lonely and depressed with my marriage. We pretty much have no sex life, never had much of one unless I was the one who initiated it. The only time he ever initiated was right after we had a talk about it. I kind of feel like I am wasting my time with him. I want someone who will be attracted to me sexually and show interest in me. If he's not going to give me that, what's the point in being there with him, especially when I could be working on my career and finding someone who can give me what I want and need. 

It makes me feel like crap about myself. I feel like he isn't attracted to me and that's probably why I wanted to lose weight to begin with (I was of normal weight before I lost more). I don't really know how to fix this or if it can be fixed. We talk about it all the time and nothing really changes. 

I love him, don't get me wrong, but this has taken such a toll on my self-esteem :( 

We talked about it over gtalk last night... he apologized and said he'll work on it, but I don't know. We talk about it all the time and nothing changes. I've told him all of this... nothing...