(638) I am thankful for...

I got inspired to write this from this blog. It's so easy to take things for granted. As I wrote this over the course of November, it was nice to look back when I wasn't feeling too great and helped me feel better.
  1. a steady guaranteed paycheck (Army)
  2. a decent apartment to live in
  3. being able to work part-time
  4. my cats and the way they make me feel not alone
  5. being able to pay off our credit cards this year
  6. being able to pay off our car loan
  7. having a car that runs well
  8. always having food in the house 
  9. my wii-fit for when I'm too lazy to drive to the gym
  10. being able to graduate college (2 years ago)
  11. the ability to actually find a job in my field here 
  12. having clean water to drink
  13. having clothes that are in decent shape 
  14. my phone, it's basically my life line to my hubby 
  15. being able to always come back to God even when I slip away
  16. my husband 
  17. my father who has always been there for me
  18. being able to talk to my husband pretty much everyday
  19. the ability to workout 
  20. zumba
  21. being able to see and hear normally (even if it means wearing glasses)
  22. the time I had with my mom before she died and that she taught me how to bake
  23. having free health care (through the Army)
  24. being able to worship how I choose to without fear
  25. the deployment being almost over (2-3 more months)
  26. my sisters and their kids
  27. having a geeky husband
  28. being able to drive
  29. emails and text messages from Mike
  30. free medication (through the Army)
What are some things you are thankful for?


(637) The Car Is Paid Off!!!

Mike and I paid off our car loan (It's technically my loan, but whatever). It was supposed to be a 5-year car loan and we paid it off in 1.5. Feels great to have one less thing to pay.


(635) MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #22

  1. If you had to be shipwrecked on a deserted island, but all your human needs – such as food and water – were taken care of, what two items would you want to have with you?

    I would probably want to bring a long book in case I was there a long time and a large notebook and pen to write with so I don't go completely insane.
  2. If you were a salad, what kind of dressing would you have?

    Honestly I don't even know how to answer this question. What do different salad dressings mean?
  3. If you had to live on a ranch, what kind of animals would you raise/own?

    Why would I have to live on a ranch? And I would have no idea how to even begin this.
  4. If your life was was portrayed as a movie, who would you choose to play you and your significant other?

    No idea, I am not that familiar with celebrities.
  5. What was the last thing you put a stamp on (envelope, duh, but what was in the envelope)?

    A letter to the hubby. That's pretty much the only thing I really mail.
Sorry this wasn't that interesting lol. :p


(634) Day 19: A talent of yours

Web development... I am not so good with coming up with a design, but I can take a design and make it into code. I can code web applications. My skills include database, client-side programming, server-side programming, and usability. I love psychology so my human interaction courses were a good combination of the two. Whenever I code something I try to focus on the user's experience and try to make it a good experience. I love the feeling of struggling with a programming problem and then solving it. (This usually just happens after a night of rest).

On a less serious note, a talent of mine includes being able to say the alphabet backwards really fast. Although this talent has no practical use, just something I learned when I was bored one summer.


(633) Day 18: Whatever tickles your fancy

This has been on my mind forever, well maybe not forever, but ever since I got married, and especially since I moved on post.... the decision to have kids.

My nephew Michael and Me (he was a newborn and I was about 12)

Everywhere you look there's kids here. Everything it seems is centered around kids. Makes me jealous and I feel like I'm missing out. The only way you can go to some of these events without feeling awkward is to have kids.

Before Mike left we weren't trying but we weren't not trying. We were just doing each other and if it happened it happened. Well it didn't happen and he deployed. No big deal and right now I'm glad that it didn't happen because it's my first deployment and I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with this. And it would really suck to be alone and pregnant.

We've been talking about whether or not to try when he gets back. A part of me wants to wait until our debt is paid off. I feel like that's the smartest decision because it will be a lot harder to do with kids. I would probably have to quit my job and that will hinder our ability to pay off the debt A LOT. Every cent I make goes towards our debt (which is totally fine with me because it's my debt). And once he's back, he'll be making less money.

Mike wants to just see what happens. He pretty much feels that if we wait until our debts are paid off, then we'll find another reason to wait and then it'll never happen. I get his point... I also want to go back to school and get my master's degree. I don't know how having kids will impact that... Maybe we could make an agreement... the moment our debts are paid off, then I'll go off birth control.

Another thing, I don't know if I'm ready to stop being selfish. What I mean is that when you have kids, everything becomes about them. I'm not sure if I'm ready to make my life about someone else.

Also, we've only been married a little over a year, most of it he's been deployed for. I would like a lot more time of just figuring us out without the stress of a child. And right now I just want him all to myself.

Even my reasons for having a child are kind of selfish. I want a child so I have a constant companion especially when Mike has to be gone. I want to not feel left out here. At the same time, I don't want to be raising a child alone in the Army environment. I don't want my child to have to deal with his/her father not being around. I want a little Mike/Allison combination running around, a part of Mike that's here even when he's not.

The more I think about it and write it all out, I think the decision is clearer. Part of me just wants to leave it up to fate (don't worry, I won't be like the lady on a million kids and counting). I'm still very conflicted. I still have about 3-4 months before I have to make a decision. I'm only 24 so I have time. I don't want to wait too long because I'd like to have enough energy to actually play with my kids and all that stuff.

What do you think we should do?


(632) Day 17: An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

I enjoy making art, but I don't really have much of a talent for it, but here's something I worked really hard on for school.
Relief that I made in high school for art class

(631) We got to webcam today!

We usually don't webcam all that often because he used to have to wait til midnight (Afghan time) for him to connect to the internet, but his internet hasn't been working, so I suggested we try him going to the MWR center. If he had to wait a while we would just talk on the phone, but he didn't have to wait at all. He was really tired and stressed, but it was nice to see him. Afterwards he texted me and said "I love you. We gotta do this more often..." to which I replied "I love you too, its good seeing you every once in a while" and he said "Agreed. It makes me even happier that I married you."
Love ya baby :) <3


(630) MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #21

  1. Were you named after anyone?

    I think I may have been named after a character in a tv show, but it was probably just an idea for a name rather than specifically being named after that person.

  2. What color, if any, are your toenails usually painted?

    If I paint my nails (finger or toe) , they are black or clear. I really only paint my finger nails so I don't bite them.

  3. How do you flush a public toilet? Hands? Feet? Something else?

    Usually with my feet. I generally avoid touching any public surface with my bare hands, so many germs.

  4. When you were a little kid, which TV character did you have a crush on?

    Hmm, let's see... Zack from "Saved by the Bell", Simon from "7th Heaven", that's all I can remember

  5. Let’s say you had to lose one of your five senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell). Which one would you choose? Why?

    I would probably choose taste... it seems like it's the less needed sense. Smell is necessary for detecting odors that could be harmful. Sight and hearing are just useful for perceiving your environment. It would just suck to not to be able to feel Mike touching me or not being able to feel myself pet the kitties.


(628) Who has it the hardest?

Today Mike and I "fought" over who had it hardest with this deployment. I told him I thought he had it the hardest because I still have all the comforts of home and the only thing that's different for me is him being gone. He said I had it hardest because this is my first time dealing with this, I'm new at the army wife crap, relatively new to the area and getting my life settled.

Anyway the point is that this was a great conversation. We were both able to see how the situation has affected the other person and it was great hearing that he understood what I've been going through. To him, deployments aren't a big deal, he said that if he weren't with me, he would volunteer to stay longer. With me in the picture, he just wants to be home. That's really his only issue with being deployed. He's done it before and it doesn't really bother him (minus being apart).

We each have our own challenges with the deployment and I think it's important that we (Mike and I) both recognize the challenges each other faces.

There's no doubt that I am still figuring this out. I suck at it sometimes. Other times I handle it just fine. Sometimes I'm understanding when he can't talk for a long time (because it's late/he had a long day/etc). Other times I tend to start fights just so we talk longer. There are times when I look back and think that I should have handled the situation better, but I try not to be too hard on myself. I'm still learning how to do this. I can't expect myself to be good at this right away.

My biggest "problem" right now is that I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. Every week seems (and is pretty much) the same. I like routines but it's just getting me that I do the exactly same thing every week.

What are some things I can do to break up this routine a bit?

(627) Day 16: A song that makes you cry (or nearly)

A song that makes me cry is Amazing Grace. It was played at my mom's and grandma's funeral and it reminds me of that every time I hear it. I cannot sing it without tearing up.
Left: grandma, Right: mom


(626) Debt sucks

Today I realized how much I really missed being in school. I miss doing homework. I miss having a goal to accomplish. I just miss it. I'm waiting to go back to get my masters until I finish paying off my student loans for the current degree. I should wait until I can use the hubby's GI bill but I don't know if I want to, but I probably will so that we're not in more debt.

I hate being in debt, I really hate it, even though it's just student loans (and about 1700 left on car loan), I still hate it so much. What we're going to do for the next year or so (however long it will take), is focus on paying off all of the debt, aggressively, very aggressively, the goal is to have it all paid off by next year. We'll know more specifically when it'll be paid off when one of the loan companies gets back to us about how they calculate interest. That and when Mike comes back things will change financially... he'll make less money (because he wont be deployed anymore) and I'll possibly work full time, but we wont know all this until it actually happens.

Things we need to know before we can figure out when debt will be paid off:

  • How interest is calculated on the Perkins loan
  • How much Mike will make when he gets off deployment
  • Whether or not I'll be working part-time or full-time after deployment
What we do is take everything I make and put it towards our debt and take whatever Mike makes and put it towards the normal bills and whatever is left after putting some in savings we put towards the debt. 



(624) Day 14: A non-fictional book

Hello, Android: Introducing Google's Mobile Development Platform (Pragmatic Programmers)One that I am in the middle of reading is "Hello, Android" to learn how to program for the Android phones. It's been pretty good so far and if you're looking for a book to get started I recommend it. I learn better from a book but if you don't, they have plenty of resources online. I have a few more chapters left and then I'm on to the second book I bought. Maybe I can even finish them before Mike comes home (doubt it, I'm a procrastinator especially with things that don't actually have a due date).


(622) MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #20

  1. A different twist on last week’s question. This week, the first question is: what’s the nicest thing a MILSPOUSE has ever done for you? (brought to you from navy_smurfette)

    The nicest thing was when a lady in my unit called me the day my husband deployed and got me out of the house. It helped me feel a bit better the rest of the day.

    Edit: Actually the nicest thing this lady did was when I found out at work that my grandma was doing really bad and I needed to head to Buffalo asap, I called her and asked if she could meet me at my house so I could give her my key to take care of my cats because I didn't know when I was coming  back. She dropped whatever she was doing and met me at my house. I tried to give her money but she refused. It was really nice of her to do this and I appreciate it so much.

  2. How often do you drive faster than the speed limit?

    I will only drive about 5mph over the limit. The thought of being pulled over causes me more anxiety than it's worth to get there faster.

  3. Did you have a nickname in school? If so, what was it?

    Not really, I had individual people call me nicknames but nothing that ever stuck. Here are some nicknames I've had-ish:
    - Mouse - My sister because I liked cheese and I was small
    - Killer - My 7th grade math teacher because I was really quiet
    - Chickie - My friend Jill, and I don't remember why
    - Babygirl - My now ex- boyfriend
    - Alli - Stuck when my former roommate Andrew started calling me that
    - Data Nazi - Given to me by a former coworker, either Josh or Rich, can't remember who, because I'm always so strict about database design
    - Bones - by my former coworkers named after tv character

  4. If your life was a book, what would the title be and how would it end?

    I have no idea and isn't that kind of creepy... how would I know how my life will end? I mean eventually I'll die but I have no idea what the future actually holds.

  5. Look back (in your planner if you have one) to September 14th… what did you do that day?

    It looks like the only thing I did that day was go to an FRG meeting.

(621) Gift from Mike

I got a package today from my hubby. It was from Newegg and I had no idea what it was until I opened it up. It is a digital picture frame and I've already loaded it with a bunch of pictures of (mostly) him and me. I've been wanting one of these for a while, but it's one of those things I wouldn't have bought for myself so I'm really happy he bought me one. I think it's sweet for him to send me things and who doesn't love getting things in the mail.

(620) Day 13: A fictional book

One book that really sticks out in my mind is To Kill A Mockingbird. It's one of the few books I read in high school that I actually liked and remember. I would like to read it again as an adult because I think I would appreciate it more, especially since I don't have to worry about turning in homework regarding it. You can get it from MilitaryOneSource. I just ordered mine (it's free).


(619) Day 12: Whatever tickles your fancy

On the day I don't really have all that much to say I have this subject lol. It's beginning to feel like every week is exactly the same as the previous week... maybe because it is... I like routines. I don't like doing things out of my routine unless it's planned in advance. Then I have time to mentally prepare about it... like driving to the event, what it will entail, and driving home. Driving still makes me nervous so I like to know the route ahead of time, even if it is as simple as driving to the company headquarters or whatever. I'm not very spontaneous at all and I really like it that way. I don't like not having time to prepare for something even if it's just mentally. I think I need to start doing something non-routine each week, something that differs from week to week just so I don't get in a rut.

This Saturday I'm going to an FRG cookie thingy where we're each going to bring in a couple dozen cookies to ship to the single soldiers. I made the dough for about 6 dozen (it's not that much) and I'm going to send about 2 dozen to the hubby and give 2 dozen to the single soldiers and bring the rest to work. I told them to expect it and they are excited lol. I brought them left over cupcakes this Monday. I'm sure they'll like me more around holiday season because I'll probably be baking more than I do (more than zero lol). The FRG has a bunch of events planned but typically they're geared towards kids (which I don't have and would feel awkward going without them) or they're during my work hours. I am going to try to go to the ones that I can... on the same note though I don't want to do too much and risk burning out. My tolerance level for anything is pretty low with Mike being gone.


(618) Yummy food

I love icecream... chocolate icecream, but I'm trying to eat just a little better. I feel like it's important not to totally deprive yourself of things because you'll just end up binging on them. So I found these fudge bars.

They taste really good and they really are giant. Usually diet food (especially the sweets) tastes like crap, but I really love these and they don't make me feel guilty. I don't follow the WW diet or anything, I just really enjoy them.

If you love icecream but are trying to watch what you eat, these might be worth trying.

(617) Day 11: A photo of you taken recently

This is the most recent one I took via webcam: 2010-09-03


(616) Halloween

I originally had nothing planned for halloween but a few days ago my friend asked me if I wanted to come over for a gathering and then to go trick-or-treating. Let me back up...

This friend and I hung out a few times before I stayed at my dad's for a few months because my grandma died. When I came back, I saw her at a support group, zumba and an frg meeting and for some reason it was really awkward (for me anyway). I didn't really know what to talk about and after my grandma dying and my cat going missing, I realized I kind of shut myself out of the world and my social skills suffered. After the FRG meeting I just figured our friendship was over. Nothing actually happened minus the fact that I am so bad at social situations and couldn't even talk to her. Nothing to do with her at all, she's a really nice person, I just suck at these things.

Well a few days ago I decided to try and maybe start back our friendship for lack of a better phrase. I sent her a message on facebook asking if she wanted to get together. This way, if she didn't she could just ignore the message and there really wouldn't be any awkwardness (as would a face to face conversation entail). Well she responded and asked me to give her a call when I had a chance and she invited me over Sunday evening.

We had fun, she had a few other people over and that was a bit intimidating but then her and her friend (and the kids) went trick-or-treating. It was FREEZING. Afterwards we hung out with her other friend and brother and the kids. It was a little easier on me with the smaller group. Anyway two things came out of this:
1. I am pretty sure I caught a cold
2. I am glad my lack of social skills didn't completely ruin a friendship

And if you know me in person, please don't ever be offended if I don't talk that much. I am really bad at social situations, I never know what to really say. I'm trying to get better by exposing myself to more and more social events. I always feel so awkward and I'm never quite sure what I am supposed to be doing at a given moment.

So glad October is over, 1 month closer to see my <3

(615) Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago

One of the last pictures of me and my mother